May 30, 2010

running in circles, counting.

i was just guessing,
the numbers and figures.
thought that i missed you,
but,
NO.

i kept on wondering,
what is going on.

as i walked to the valley on the shadow of death,
i take a look at my self,
and realized that i actually love you.

and now i am on my knees,
wanted to tell you all my weakness,
so i could just roll over and die.

- he says.

you are a square shape of a triangle.

- he says.

a reward should be given out.

as he shed his tears for you.
unbelievable.
this strong man falls to his knees for you.

he loves your smell,
he loves your flaws,
he loves your crooked teeth.

these damn dirty rats are his witness,
this concrete jungle.
you are his cocaine.

but thanks to himself, 
he is not suffering anymore.

he flew with the wind, 
folding his hands, 
watching out the window,
as the wind blows through his hair.

shedding those tears for you,
unbelievable.

- he says.

May 26, 2010

the mirror piece.

find yourself in the mirror.
watch your self until your eyes turn
square.

- he says.

a song with a notations that no one sings.

how i miss the old me.
what i think is right or wrong,
still i'd go on.
convinced it will end.

there on the edge,
i'd be found dead as someone pushes a blade in my mind.
tell me,
why?
why is everything wrong?

why do i write these words,
which i don't really know how to say?

open my eyes.
please take my hands,
and lead me.

i need help.
i am in need of someone.

i am unable to tell you,
i am trying to tell myself,
nothing is wrong.

now i just knew that i am so afraid to open my eyes,
to see that i am the song that no one sings.

- he says.

May 22, 2010

i am something that is really nothing.

i am a burden and this is not where i belong.

i am just a mistake.
stupidity lurks inside my head.

survival skills?
zero.

i dont mean anything,
i dont worth anything.

i have nothing.

i am the burden to your soul.
to your family.
i am just a liability.

i am nothing.

i apologize for the fact that i have burdened your life ever since i was born.

- he says.

May 13, 2010

what's the difference than standing here, standing there?

to fall for someone you've known for a long time,

or,

to fall for someone who is a total stranger?
try to relate.

- he says.

you, yourself,

17 drops of blood, 
counting.
sweat covering all over the face.

shadows all around you,
swallowing you.
but the guts you have,
you surfaced.

do you feel alone?
are you alone?
lonely?

you dont really see what you posses,
the beauty of calm.

you blurred the darkness like a chandelier.
you know,
even the smallest light can be seen in the dark.

you dont really see what you posses,
your beauty floods the skies.

shattered surface,
imperfections,
hatred,
it's all that you see.

hold my hand,
i'll bring you to a place,
where you will see your own beauty evey moment you rise.

- he says.

May 10, 2010

you, you, you, you and you. this is not just for you alone.

dear you,
how i missed our times together.
you were down,
i was there for you.
you were like my sister, 
i never had one.
no i don't even know wether you care or not.
i am not there anymore.

dear you,
i never thought that i would come across you.
never really thought that i would become close to you.
i am truly amazed by who you are.
we share the same thoughts,
the same interest,
only you were better than me.
i thought you were the one,
but no.
perhaps,
just a story in this story.
nice to know you.

dear you,
we were together,
be broke off.
i grew weak,
i grew stronger because of you.
i ignored you, 
and you ignored me too.
we were close back again.
been wanting you ever since.
but no.
you were with someone else.
never really mind it,
you gave me hope to still go on.

dear you,
you were someone else's.
i told you that i like you,
that i wanted you.
you told me you feel the same way too.
i am being honest here, 
i admire someone else too.
you were great,
you were good to me.
you were awesome.
i admire you, 
i respect you.
i still want you.
only that i don't know wether you feel the same way too.

dear you,
i admired you before just because of lust.
sexual intentions,
mostly.
but i grew to honestly like you.
admiring you.
i can even say i fell for you.
as time grows around us,
i can see your true colors.
money money money,
profit profit profit.
you were a lie.
you were a joke.
now i guess you know that i don't want you anymore.

dear you,
a friend.
a close little friend.
you wrecked my car,
but still i did not loathe you.
you were still a friend.
you ignored my sayings, 
but still,
you were my friend.
we did not know each other for a long time,
but still, 
you were the one who came close to my heart.
dear you, you, you, you, and you. 
this is not just for you alone.

- he says.

May 2, 2010

facts.

your TV,
your paper bags,
are just meant for you to see.

yes, 
it's your life, 
not mine.

who says that i could control yours?

- he says.

May 1, 2010

we aint no cunts.

that's the story of how our lives goes.
we have been treated like a bunch of snucked up fools.
scorned by many,
and understood by few.

- he says.