June 29, 2010

i am actually afraid.

of what you are.
of who you are.
of where you are from.

i want you,
yes i do.
i want you.

cry on my shoulders.

- he says.

June 25, 2010

hypocrite, yes i am.

do erase me from your life,
if you cant just except someone's who is

- he says.

June 23, 2010


i never really have the guts to leave you.
i never do.

but you did.

- he says.

let's sing our long goodbye song again.

take me somewhere people cant hear my voice please.

smokes, have heart.

i will sing the song for you.
maybe one last time.
then i really have to go.

i can barely look at you.
as i hear all the laughters.
but every single time i do, 
i know we will make it to anywhere.

lighting up my cigarette.
light it up, 
as if i have a choice.

please do hear my voice.
i understand that you might not even want me to stay.

but please remember,
to think that i might not see your eyes.
makes it so hard not to cry.

i am waiting, 
waiting for our long goodbyes.

lighting up my cigarette,
light it up,
as if i have a choice.

long my hands,
my touch,
my skin.
i kept on your voice that says,
please don't go away.

- he says.

June 20, 2010

why do i even listen to these songs?

and the melody strikes through my head, 
like someone pushed a blade into my mind.

i don't feel it,
but i listen to it.
naturally i act like i have it.

i got no one,
i guess i am so lonely i even i have my own imaginary friend.
i have been asking myself i.
i opened my eyes,
i see figures.

only the creatures of the night,
will harmonize with love.
i wondered if you know,
i missed you so,
dear someone that i don't even know.

- he says.

June 17, 2010

this two shall pass, but this friendship will never be.

now my number is being called.
we waited to see how i would look.
i waited 7 years for this.
but you could just hold up to 5 years.

plus with the other 6 years of our relationship.

i wish i could hug you for forgiveness,
for one more time,
i would love to.

if i die tonight, 
who will ever get all my belongings, 
our memories?

i miss you.
i really do.
now i am going to get what we waited for,
but i couldn't enjoy it with you.

rest in peace.

- he says.

you've been there for me, when no one could.

thank you very much,


- he says.

June 12, 2010

i miss this one particular artistic human being.

- he says.

leaving the undone, continue with what is already done.

closing my eyes,
rubbing it back and forth.
because i cant see anything clearly.

will i be safe there?
maybe i will.
someone convinced me that i will.

but me myself pushed a blade into my head.
though the world would never understand.

have you ever heard any kind of lonely voice sighing through the rain?
well i have.
let's go for a movie.
the show is about your life,
your world.

can you remember this?
must have been what i missed.

coming back.

- he says.

June 8, 2010

i am so lost and lonely even my shadow leaves me.


right about now, 
the funk soul brother.

- he says.

the plane i was supposed to be on crashes and burnt into ashes.

yesterday i powdered your face so you wouldn't look so sad when you're blue.

but may i ask,
am i to loud for you?

how can you let him sleep in our bed?

i am the wind, 
flowing through the enemies,
of my kind.

as i walk these streets, 
i'll destroy the eyes and ears of these passers by.

take a look outside your window,
do you see a floating spaceship?

take a walk outside,
breath in all the pollution,
exhale the loathe and all.

come and sit on my wall.

you did me so wrong.

remember when you were so drunk,
and you threw up on her?
it was funny,
wasn't it?
let's go for a movie.
we might end up in bed together later.

now breathe,

- he says.