December 31, 2009

kissing it.

goodbye, 
two thousand nine.
hello, 
two thousand ten.

- he says.

in my place, in my pants.

sorry i just couldn't change.

just yet.

- he says.

will i be the king lost-lost forgotten someday?



- he captures.

it's a filthy secret.


- he was snapped.

try honesty.

forgive me dear,
but why should you bother now?

- he asks.

why would you put me through such torture?

language of a lover.

as you're dancing naked,
you swooned me like no other.
you exposed al the boundaries,
from a tiny lens.

my head,
it hurts.
my soul,
it became a curse.

i am tanning my skin in the rain.
take the best mugshot of me if you could.
well if you see me,
just drive on by.

years of dirty needles,
raindrops running through my veins.

damn right i've lost my way.

- he says.

it's my time to dream.

make me believe that this place is made by the poison in me.
help me decide if my fire will burn out before you can breathe.
breathe into me.

- he says.

has someone taken your faith?

my heart is under arrest again.
as my head's giving me life or death.
now i wonder,
and began to ponder on the memories that lingers along my ears.

the best of me,
has anyone get that from me?

i want to start again,
somewhere new.
but will i be strong enough for not to give in?

the faith,
it's real.
the pain i feel.
again,
the head's giving me life or death.
as i stand alone,
inside i stand alone.

you hide when you see me.
and,
you let your stings inside me,
do know,
i am not dying for it.

- he says.

i want you back.

if you walk out on me,
i'd ask why.
but the reasons,
i'll adapt.
i'd still walk after you.
i just couldn't live without you.

i know i crossed the thin line,
but you know who i am.
i miss you.
yes i do.

even though once i stated that i loathe you.
remember,
i am on your back.
no matter what brings in our life.
even we're now separated.
i am on your back.
yes i do want you back.

- he says.

tomorrow comes to take me away.

i just wish that i could stay.
as tomorrow comes,
the me today will be gone.

tomorrow i'll be gone.
tomorrow i'll be gone.

save me.

- he says.

happy new year?

new year isjust around the corner,
driving 300 miles per hour.

seems like an epidemic for everyone to wish that.
so yeah, he would wish that too.

here goes,
Happy New Year.

but,
what is really new with us?

- he asks.

December 29, 2009

a girl asked a question.

who finds you?

and he answered,

"people with problems to tell."

- he said.

i am fucking broke, thank you.

December 16, 2009

nothing.

as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
now i know that i got nothing much to live for.

- he says.

and now it's over.


- he says.

December 15, 2009

i take pictures so i dont forget.


- he says.

i am left behind in the dark.

the lights are fading day by day.
flow of darkness,
it lurks inside you.

uncertain.
as it turns black,
yet it'll turn bright again.
as now the darkness falls.

follow me.
walk with me in this hell,
a great path to decay.

here's my love to betray.
as i am left to be astrayed.
how i wish i could destroy the passers by.
how i wish to seek the truth in the liar's eyes.

you're the song,
the song that kept playing in my mind.
as you're the song that no one sings.
how i hate you the most,
as i love you too at the same time.

- he says.

December 14, 2009

now shut the fuck up and take what's coming to you.

how could you?
just leave and love him out of blue.

too bad,
bitch.
you're finally going to hear me out this time.

- he says.

December 13, 2009

heyy ex girlfriend.



after you left,
i am here all alone.

felt like i have lost something important in my life.
i know deep in your heart,
you wanted to leave me.

do you know while you're happy over there,
i am hurting inside here?

help me to hate you,
as i love you so much.
you mean so much to me,
dear.

you loved him,
and he loves you too.
is this my fate?

help me to hate you,
as i love you so much.
you mean so much to me,
dear.

forget me.
erase me,
the one that once loved you very much.
your existence was obvious,
as it says it's not for me.

- he says.

follow me?

give me the dust of my own body.
as i am standing on the face of the ancients.
it bares all the sacred flesh of time itself.

i have gone so far,
i am behind again.

i wished so hard,
i am there again.

follow me?

all that i wanted,
are things i had before.

all that i needed,
i never needed more.

all of my questions,
were answers to my sins.

all of my endings,
are waiting to begin.

i know the way, but i faulter.
i cant be afraid of my patience anymore.

follow me?

i have seen so much,
i am blinded again.
i have hated so much,
i am feeling loved again.

- he says.

light up.


as if you had a choice.
- he says.

you hardly speak, but i understand.

even if you cant hear my voice,
as it is obvious that i cant see right into those eyes anymore,
just know that i walked away because im not needed to stay.
but know this too,
i'll still be there right beside you.

- he says,

the 'demons' will always be with you.



are you afraid?
open your eyes.
know this well.
acknowledge the things that fatuates you.

it is something that is undefined.
the demons inside plays and then torment you.
do you still remember?
feeling so sure,
feeling uncertain.
everyone is gone and you were left behind.
everyone left their demons inside.

do still hear the laughters?
isn't it hard to describe?
don't you ever forget the faces that haunts you.
awake nor asleep.

you know you cant tell.
from where i stand, i know you.
unable to sleep, unable to fight.

face your oppressor,
off and on you go.
convince yourself that it'll end.

do you still remember the day when it was not like this?
unsure of yourself, unsure of your thoughts.
unable to know what's right and what's wrong?

you convinced yourself that it'll end.
but someone pushes a blade through your mind.
there on the edge, no one will find you.
still hearing them laughing?
no lights, it doesn't mean it's the end for you.

why is everything wrong?

here i am, here i stand.

with these words, i drew a line.
unable to tell you.
i am trying to say,
nothing is wrong.
the demons they left for you.

you were not left behind.
please open your eyes.
nothing is wrong.

- he says.

hold on.




i am just waiting for this to come to an end.
but will i stay strong?

as the storm is lighting up,
but it just wont die.
your picture still remains.
but i am wondering, as we grow older each second,
are you still the same?


as the shutter speed's chasing,
i will hold on.
i hope i will stay strong.


am i losing you?
or am i nothing to you?


i am waiting,
waiting.


waiting until it's over now.
waiting for time to pass me by.



- he says.

as it is just a test for us.

look how hard that you stated that you're missing it.
it just wont be drifted from the heart.
even if the rain falls on the desert,
the heat on Earth wont just be gone.

as the traveler will suffer on thirst,
in achieving the World's reality.
no matter how pure his thoughts and heart is.

you kept on holding on,
kept on being strong as your hands are shivering.
you grab on the fire 'til it turns to ashes.
yes, the wound really hurts,
but patience is the best cure.

sacrifice is something that is important in our life.
even if we were burdened by thousand depressions.
love is like a shadow.
further you throw it away,
the nearer it comes to you.

not everything that we wanted,
that we dream of,
will we grab it in our hands.

- he says.

what i am to you, is not real.



i remember it well,
taxied out of the storm,
just to watch you perform,
and as my flight is flying away.

would you hear my voice?

may i sing it one more time for you?
did you know that angels could fly so low?
i would give my everything to show you how much you mean to me.

your mouth,
your mouth.
is that you, my love?

don't throw yourself like that,
you'll hurt your knees.
when we met i was on my back,
and we were a part of something.

i want to have what you have to say about me.
i want to have what you want.
yes, i remember December.

as these innocent pictures are sketched,
are you thinking of adding in some color to it?
are you love?
or are you lust?

i am driving,
rushing to the end.
lead me,
take me somewhere.
you yourself don't want to live in a dream one more day.

uncertainty will change our ways as faith falls into place.
come on, reborn.
is this love?
this is poor.
what i am giving to you,
is just what i'm going through.

- he says.

December 11, 2009

concrete notes.

the flood gates thrown wide open,
as the fear sweeps you away.
an undertow pulling you,
as all of your hopes drained away.

overwhelmed in a sea of suffering,
one of the worst conceivable ways to commit suicide.
as liquid consumes the mouth and lungs.
choking, seizing, swallowing poison as you drown.

What once gave life now brings death.
in a sea of suffering you drown.i
n a moment of hope, you start to see the light.
Save yourself

the game is over now.
nature won't allow what burns when it goes down

- he says.

December 5, 2009

it's the date of the year again.

i know i am being busy.
having fun, i guess.
but that doesn't mean that i forgot about you, us.
i am just hoping for the best.
if you could just see me,
i am hoping that this could be something that you'd be proud of.
i love you, i miss you.
a lot.
it is just something that i couldn't just forget.
im wishing for you to read this.
i miss you a lot.

rest in peace, my dear.
rest in peace.

Melissa, i wish for you to be here.
next to me again.

- he says.