March 29, 2011

give me your heart,
give me your pain.

give me your hand,
give me your hug.

give me your smile,
give me your kiss.

lets run.

- he says.

the lips that made me fly, the arms that is home.

these words,
 are not actually easy for me to say.
i guess i can live without you, 
but honestly without you,
 i'll be miserable at best.

you're all that i hoped i'd find,
 in every single way.

and everything i could give,
 is not the best yet that you could take,
indeed as i am working on that.

i hope that i might be good for something, 

at least to have the ability make you stay.

i miss the lips that makes me fly.

i terribly miss you.

i honestly love you.

- he says.

March 22, 2011

rather yet pathetic.

i've felt that hate rise up in me.
kneel down and clear the stones and leaves.
i wander out where you cant see.
inside my shell i wait and bleed.

stapled shut,
inside an outside world
sealed in tight.
bizarre but right at home.
not again,
not again.

yet im the one who's obscene.
now im just caught up in all the battles.
fray the strings please.
wipe it off.

this is not the way i pictured me.
i cant control my shakes,
i wish i didnt like this,
something about this is very wrong.

- he says.
i wont let this build up inside of me.
i am going to try.

a catch in my throat,
torn into pieces.
i wont,
i dont want to be this.

but this eventually built up inside of me.

- he says.

when someone afraid of losing the result.

now reminisce the old memories,
and reflect yourself back.
ever thought of that?
please remain the same.

you will lose me,
and i will lose you.
how i just wish that someone who i have been with,
would ever think of me,
as i was the best.

but better yet,
i was never the best for anyone.
even for myself.

i'd do anything to have myself just for myself.
feels better to have someone by my side still.
i am unrequited dream,
the song that no one sings,
the unattainable.

now this,
is just a myth that i have to believe in.

- he says.

take a photograph.

it meant to last.
seems like it is the only thing i can hold on to,
to always keep me here.
in apart of me that wants it to remain the same.

dear rain,
i am honestly afraid of you.
i want you to go away,
but yet i want you here.

now i know,
now that i am aware of,
these clouds keeps following me,
in the search of my own desperate endeavor.

seems to be,
lying here under you is all that i could ever do.
keep calm,
and try to let it go.
take this as hard as i possibly can.

because to you it's nothing.
i am just waiting for that someone i knew.
waiting and waiting.
but it is all drifting away.

i am no longer who i am,
not that one i am proud of.
but yet again i dont have to face this.
yes indeed,
i knew i will love you before i met you.
i just hope it remains the same.

but what is going on?
it's just like the ocean wave.
they come and go.
i could wait for the dusts to be still.
but i dont believe it will ever be.

take me back,
i am begging you.

- he says.

a deep, deep monologue thought with a question mark and an exclamation mark.


- he asks.

March 21, 2011

just for you, and only you.

you know, truth is, sometimes when i look at you,
i have to look away.
because i get teary eyed,
thinking about how happy i am, 
how lucky i am to finally have something in my life that i am completely happy with.
it is like having you makes me realize a whole lot.
i know people say,
 “that’s stupid”, 
and that it is
 “just an 8 month relationship.”
 but honestly, 
it’s been the most memorable eight months of my life, 
and i pray everyday that there are many other memorable months to come.

i don’t think of you as,
 'just this' or 'just that.' 
you’re not 'just anything' to me,
but you're definitely different. 
you're EVERYTHING to me.

i feel so stupid with tears running down my face right now, 
and i don’t even know why it’s happening, 
because i have the hugest smile on my face,
i guess.

this is definitely not normal to me.
but maybe, maybe maybe.
i am completely head over heels in love with you.
i don’t just sit here and say,
 'i love you more' everyday,
 because i want to have some cute little relationship argument with you, 
but i say it because i mean it. 
i really really meant it.

no matter how much you think you love me more, 
i could never believe it’s true.
i love every last bit of you, 
you have changed my life.
and the way i think about things, 
words couldn’t explain how stupid in the head i was before i met you.

it was like i was looking at blur, 
but then you came along, 
everything was just clear to me.
i know what i want, 
and it is you.
you you you.
only you.

- he says.

March 15, 2011

i fucking tried not to care anymore.
believe me, 
i tried.

- he says.

is that even necessary?

i am not happy.
is a bad day.
as soon as i find out,
i began to wonder.
is that how it has always been.

generally i am the obliged one who always try,
who always have to do,
the one that must do.
i know you are, 
but what am i?
not even worth mentioning for.

clearly you see the flaws,
boredom strikes,
there you find me.

i am not happy,
i am honestly tired,
thought of giving up already.

generally i am a sunny,
a happy person.
but i do need sometime to reflect,
to think,
and just not be the guy you expect me to be.

i am not happy.

- he says.